I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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