Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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