Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
