Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
