Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
