Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
