I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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