i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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