How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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