thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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