lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
