My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
