haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
