Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Enjoy the penises
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
