Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
