You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
