I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
