You're like the curious george of whores
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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