you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
