It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
