# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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