if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
