from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
NoShamevember. You game?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i think i just lost a toe
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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