There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
