Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
