If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
