Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
