sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize