3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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