Actions speak louder than pants.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
