the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
