I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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