He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sorry about my life...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
