Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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