Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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