Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
