At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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