yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
