i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
