My first STD was from a foam party
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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