it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
