That's when you crack a 10am beer
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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