I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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