It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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