Ambien. No doubt about it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize