Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
