Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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