I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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