Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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