I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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