We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
