Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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