none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
