quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
