Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
