Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
