"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
